"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven" Ecclesiastics 3:1

My dear friends...OH, how I have longed to swop stories with you all in person, to speak with you face to face and do life together.  Even though many of you are far, far away, I often think about you.  It has been almost a year now since I moved from Montreal Quebec to Albuquerque New Mexico.  It feels like yesterday and an eternity all at the same time.  I will tell you that when I left Montréal I was hoping to be in Spain as soon as possible, not wanting to be in transition for too long.  It has been difficult at times to wait these many months, sometimes feeling like a fish out of water even in my hometown.  As much as I didn't want to admit it a few months ago, I now realize that I needed this time to really process the six years I spent in Montreal in ministry. When you are a part of a church plant you undergo heart surgery about a thousand times.  When you move away from that church, no mater how good the reason is, you can experience the pain of loss that I can only describe as similar to the death of someone very special to you.  This year I have felt a bit bipolar concerning my emotional state missing my family back in Montreal with all my heart and at the same time so excited to move forward in my plans to move to Spain.  At times it has felt like a crawl this moving forward but I can not trust in my timing.  The Lord has been doing a work in my heart and I trust that He knows what He is doing with my life even if I do not always understand His ways.  If I move forward at all, it is one step at a time and by HIS GRACE alone.   

I am learning about what it means to wait.  Oh waiting... Is it as hard for you as it is for me?  I guess it really depends what we are waiting for and how important it is to us.  Right now I am waiting on an official document from Canada before I can go to the Spanish embassy to apply for my visa for Spain.  This is just one of the many papers I have been required to obtain in order to apply for a Spanish Religious Workers Visa.  I would like to tell you that waiting all this time for this visa to come together has produce a ton of patients in me and that my faith has increased ten fold but I will not exaggerate the truth.  In fact this year has been a huge mirror showing me just how much I struggle with faith and patients.  I have never been so provided for and have felt so venerable at the same time.  I have never received so many blessings and have felt so insecure.  I will not forsake telling you though, that the Lord HAS provided for me on so many levels that it would take all day and then some to write about it.  One example is that while I have been here someone donated a car to me...they just up and gave it to me.  Another example is that in February I found out that I needed an operation and within a week it was over and done with.  I have also had the privilege of being here for the birth of my third nephew Lorenzo Levi Gonzales.  He is hands down the most beautiful baby ever born.  I might be exaggerating just a little bit but in the words of Bono "love is blindness."  There have been so many ways The Lord has shown me time and time again that He loves me, that He is my provider and that I am in His hands.  Why I still lack trust from time to time, I will never know.  I can tell you that I don't deserve this amazing love but it is really there and that is for sure! 

While in ABQ I have had the great blessing of being able to audit the School of Ministry, (which I attended from in 2000-2001).  With mostly all new teachers and new books it has almost felt like I am attending for the first time, minus all the pressure of the mountain of assignments that are required to complete the school.  I get a few rolled eyes from the students now and then when they remember that the assignments are not requirement for me, but I hope they love me despite their derision.  The School of ministry has been a huge blessing.  Within the school I have made a lot of lifelong friend who it will be hard to leave when the time comes.  I have also been blessed with opportunities to minister to school of ministry student and kind of organically disciple a few of them.  This year I have also had time to build a team of partners in the ministry called a “Care Team” and some of these wonderful SOM students are part of this team.  A Care Teams purpose is to be the arm of my sending church which provides prayer support, moral support, communication support, financial support, logistical support and reentry support.  Basically a team of Awesome!  They help to keep me connected to my sending church in a way that this outreach to Spain will be the churches mission not just Bernadette going to Spain for ministry.  

I have also had time this year to contemplate what specifically the Lord might be calling me to focus on in ministry.  Throughout these many months I have had a deeper understanding that this world is only getting worse and that as a church body we cannot be afraid to reach out into the darker places of this world with the light and love of Christ.  There is no place on this earth that is untouched by Satan's plans for the absolute destruction of God's beloved human race.  Even in just this year alone our church family in Albuquerque has been hit by quite a few shocking tragedies.  Being in this time of transition I have had a lot of time to meditate on these things, to lift them up to the Lord in prayer.  I have asked Him what should our perspectives be and how we should respond in such a time as this.  Through all of this processing and through times of  prayer I found that my heart in a deeper way has been broken for the situation that women and children are facing concerning human trafficking.  This is an area of ministry/research that I would like to pursue while in Spain in addition to ministering to the people of the church, whether it be looking into volunteering at women's shelters, orphanages, or even maybe one day a safe house.  I do not feel that I am built to work in a humanitarian organization full time.  I know how important it is to use the gifts that God has given us for the edification of the whole body and my true passion in ministry is discipleship connected to the church body.  I also see it as important, if it be the Lord's will, that while in Spain that I continue to pursue opportunities of outreach to women and children in great need who are not necessarily connected with the church.  I dare not attempt these things on my own or without the support of my future church community.  

So It has been a long process/learning curve, this preparing to go but I take comfort when I think of King David and his time in the wilderness.  Even after he knew about the calling on his life to one day be king of Israel, he spent years in exile before it came to fruition.  The Lord is not slack in His promises and he does not need our help to bring them to pass.  He just wants us to trust an obey.   Please pray that I will have patients for this marathon that I thought was going to be a sprint.  That I keep my eyes on Christ, the whole reason for this crazy life that I lead.  With out Him my life makes no sense at all.  The Lord is faithful to complete what He began in us so the Bible tells us.  May we believe it! 

If you are interested in how you can be involved by way of financial support you can do so by contacting:

Global Adventures

Phone #: 1(505)338-3680

4001 Osuna Rd NE Albuquerque NM 87109

E-mail: contact@globaladventures.org Website: www.globaladventures.org

"His ways are not our ways"

About 7 years ago I traveled to the south of Spain to work along side missionaries who lived and served in Jerez.  I lived with them for three months and because of my experiences there, the people of Spain have been on my heart ever since.  I was surprised, though, that upon my returning from my first trip to Spain that my path was leading me in a very different direction.  The doors were flung wide open.....in the direction of Montreal, Quebec, Canada.  And here in Montreal I have been living for the past five years.  It has been an amazing five years... tough but good, BEAUTIFUL, sometimes exhausting and yet strengthening my faith, BEAUTIFUL,  broken and restored, BEAUTIFUL.   The Lords ways are better than our ways.  His plans full of purpose and hope.  We will not always understand but we can trust Him completely.  I have been privileged to be a part of a community of believers here in Montreal who, by the grace of God have overcome many trials together and have come out on the other side closer to one another and more importantly, closer to the Lord. 

When you are part of a church plant you wear many hats in the beginning.  Sometimes you even wear hats that aren't the right size, make and model for your head but you are willing to look silly if it means that others will be blessed.  But there comes a time when a person comes along that is perfect for that hat and it is time to pass it on.  Lately I have been giving a lot of hats away so to speak and it makes sense that the church is benefiting from the right hats fitting the right heads.  Many in our congregation are taking steps forward and walking in the gifts that the Lord has given them for the benefit of the whole body.  They are willingly and lovingly taking advantage of opportunities to minister to one another.   As we are challenged to serve one another by exercising our gifts we are bound to grow more and more in our love for one-another and in spiritual maturity.  It is happening! One word...FAMILY.  One more word...Amen!  Galatians 6:6-10

So after sharing all of this, you might be wondering why I started out talking about my first trip to Spain.... Well it has long been a desire of mine to go back someday and about two months ago I was blessed with the opportunity to take a nine day trip to southern Spain. I flew to Malaga to visit  with the Martos family (the pastor and his wife of a Calvary Chapel Church plant in Rincon de la Victoria) with whom I had been corresponding for about a year.  It was such a blessing to finally get to meet them in person and to see with my own eyes the fruit of the ministry they had been pouring into for about three years.  On top of the joy of returning to a country that I love, I had the added bonus of experiencing it all with both my parents and my grandmother.  I admit that I am a bit spoiled.  We spent one wonderful week with our church Family in Rincon de la Victoria where we were treated with such hospitality, you would have thought that we were related by blood.  While there we attended all the weekly church meetings such as the Wednesday night prayer meeting, the men’s bible study (attended by my father) and the Sunday Service.   Before traveling to visit the church, Eunice (the pastors wife) had asked me to prepare a teaching for a special woman’s bible study event. A bit nervous, I prepared my teaching not knowing my audience’s ages or backgrounds. I prayed that the Lord would use me to speak to his daughters whom I had never met but whom He knew intimately. When the event took place, praise be to God, we had a truly beautiful time with the ladies who attended and I felt as if we all had know each-other for years. The Sunday service was the first time I had ever heard Ivan Martos (the Pastor) teach and I was truly impressed, not that it was his goal to impress.  As he taught it was evident that his heart for the congregation was truly a heart of love; desiring to disciple by teaching humbly the word with authority. I found the Martos family and their parents, who served along side them, to be genuinely loving, hospitable, godly and down to earth people.  My family and I had a truly exceptional visit with our new family in Rincon de la Victoria.   

 The last three days of our trip we traveled to Toledo, Spain where we believe many of our ancestors came from, on both my father’s and my mother’s side. We invited a missionary named Eric Flores take the trip with us. Eric had also played the part of a wonderful host almost the whole time we were visiting the church.  He was only going to be in Spain for one more month after living there three years.  As he hadn’t had the chance to travel around the country much, he gladly accepted the invitation.  The city of Toledo is a beautiful combination of Medieval, Jewish, Moorish and Spanish architecture. It was surreal walking down the steep, narrow, cobblestone streets feeling like you had stepped back in time a few centuries. I loved watching my parents and grandmother walking around looking as though they had returned home. It was a bit of an adventure trying to drive down these streets but with the help of a few back street drivers my father pulled it off like a pro.  On the way back to Rincon de la Victoria we spent one night in Granada where, because of arriving during a festival, we saw hundreds of women dressed up in Flamenco dresses. 

Our last day in Spain we spent with our new church family who had prepared a feast for us upon our return, including the best paella I have ever tasted in my life.  We spent as much time together as we possibly could before we absolutely had to leave to prepare to fly out the next day.  We kissed goodbye and each shed a few real tears.  It is amazing how close you can become in such a short period of time.  One last thing I would like to share with you is that I planned and took this trip with the desire to seek the Lord’s will; more specifically if I should join this church family in their ministry efforts to serve the people of Southern Spain on a long term basis.  I would really appreciate your prayers concerning this possibility.  The experiences I had there were more than encouraging, but my greatest desire is to be in the center of the Lord’s will.  To be living In His ways and in His will is not always the easiest place to be but it is the only place this crazy pilgrim feels at home.



If you are interested in how you can be involved by way of financial support you can do so by contacting:
Global Adventures
Phone #: 1(505)338-3680
4001 Osuna Rd NE Albuquerque NM 87109
E-mail: contact@globaladventures.org Website: www.globaladventures.org

Forward

The beginning of a new journal is always exciting for me.  To be honest, the most exciting part is picking out a brand new journal and then flipping through the empty crisp pages.  Actually documenting my journey through life is another story.  Oh, how to explain that which you are still trying to understand.  I am still in amazement at the twists and turns my life has taken and what I believe my future holds.  I never could have foreseen the past few years but I would not change a thing.  That does not mean that I do not hope for further growth in my life.  One thing I know is that when thinking about my past, present and future I can't help but be grateful.  I am grateful to God for the people who He has placed in my life... my family, my friends as well as the difficult people who have challenged me and helped me to grow.  This blog will be a good stretch for me.  When you write about yourself and make yourself vulnerable in this way it can't help but challenge you to really think about what you are putting out there for all to read, how you explain what you are doing with your life and what you say you believe.  Also, one can only hope to be as open and honest about the events of their life as possible without exposing others confidence.  My hope is that you, who might be too far away to talk to on a daily basis, will have a chance, if you so desire, to get to know a little more about my life and the ministry I am involved in.  I also hope that as you read about this simple finite woman it will be evident that the Creator of the world and the "lover of my soul" has been wonderfully faithful to me.  It is because of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, that I even have a desire to share my story.  If this was just about me there wouldn't be much to say.  He is the (my true) beginning and...The End.